I'M DETERMINED TO SUCCEED

MY APPENDIX FEELS TO BE IN DIRE PAIN! HOW CAN I REMOVE IT????

HOW CAN THE BEATNIKS CALL SQUARES "SHALLOW" WHEN THEY'RE THE ONES WHO RELIGIOUSLY FOLLOW SHALLOW LABELING THEORIES?

I've been trying to upload the latest version of Pokey Quest I Demo, but have been having baffling issues with my current uploader, SendSpace. Does anyone have any recommendations of free webhost websites I can upload .zip archives to? Those free-website-sites generally don't allow me to upload .zips or .zips that are more than 50mb (which is really shocking, since that's tiny these days).

The overeater does not overeat on just anything. It's a special type of food he overeats on, is it not?

Is it not so that he overeats on carbohydrat OH NO THE PROTEIN IS STUCK TO THE PAN!!

HELLO! I HAVE RECENTLY "OBTAINED" A PENGUIN AND HAVE BEGUN TO UNDERTAKE STEPS IN ENSURING THE CREATURE'S SURVIVAL.

POINT ONE: DO PENGUINS EAT PANCAKES? I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO OFFER PANCAKES TO THE PENGUIN BUT IT DOES NOT EAT THEM.

POINT TWO: WHAT SOUND DO PENGUINS MAKE? THE PENGUIN IS VERY VERY VERY QUIET AND DOESN'T DO MUCH.

POINT THREE: WHAT RECREATION ACTIVITIES DO PENGUINS ENJOY? I HAVE ATTEMPTED TO ENTHUSE THE CREATURE TO SWIMMERING, CRAYON DRAWING, AND VIDEO GAME CONSOLING, BUT IT TAKES NO INTEREST IN TRAUMA TEAM. IT JUST STANDS THERE WITHOUT MOVING. ALSO DO PENGUINS REQUIRE SWIMTRUNKS?

POINT FIVE: ARE PENGUINS MAMMALS? IT HAS A BIRD-LIKE BEAKAL OBSTRUCTION ON THE ANTERIOR PORTION OF ITS FACE. IT ALSO HAS FLIPPER OR WING-LIKE PROTUBERANCES ON BOTH SIDES OF ITS BODY, BUT IT DOES NOT FLY.

ALSO IT APPEARS TO BE MADE OF PLASTIC. IS THERE PERHAPS TOO MUCH PLASTIC IN ITS DIET? I RESCUED THIS PENGUIN FROM THE ARCTIC FOR FEAR IT WOULD BE SNIPED BY A PASSING PLANE. GOOD DAY TALLY HO AND EH WOT.

Hey, what the hell's this shit about? http://www.stopacta.org/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=4

Monitoring everything we do on our computers? Can they also monitor I fucking paid for this goddamn machine with my own money? Give me a goddamn break.

Let us enjoy Adventures in Poetry!

I post my first poem for your ventilation thus:

give me thirst and let me wait
take me to her twice again
i have no patience on this date
show me her face, i'll go insane

Is there any innovation left on the interwebs? The Skeptomaze is gone, but people hardly visited it anyway as they were probably too busy signing up for Failbook and UglySpace accounts. Isn't there anything of GENUINE repute to do on the internets? There's only five or three videos on YouTube that necessitate watching, and I'm firmly against blogs and all they stand for. Why do you think they call it "TWIT"ter?

I miss the era of Brian, the Confused Mail Clerk. What can I, someone who humbly requires sustenance of a more substantial variety, do in a world full of Googlebing and Yahoo Answers? Is there nothing on the internet that can be explored? Wayback Machine cannot send me back in time to 1999. I need an internets that was still crazy not cynical, funny not angry, experimental not the doldrums.

Seriously, what are we going to get out of reading a bunch of messages from ilikeboobies9495 saying "i poop'd 2daye". I'm looking in all the wrong places! Where are the right places to look on an internet now ridden with NEWS websites?

I'VE ALREADY BEEN TO ME